Hanging Out with The Hanged Man by Kristine Marie

It will teach you to love what you’re afraid of
After it takes away all that
You learn to love
But you don’t
Have to hold your head
Higher than your heart

~ Hope ~ Jack Johnson


What happens when we hang out with the hanged man? Well, beyond the fact that we are gaining new perspectives because everything is topsy turvy, up is down and down is up, the hanged man also gives us the opportunity to experience our hearts above our heads. It gives the heart back to its rightful place as emperor and puts the mind at its service, a much better and more balanced place for the mind to be. What higher calling is there than to utilize one’s brilliance for the endeavors of the heart?

 Just Like Fire ~ Pink

 Another powerful aspect of the hanged mind is to remind us to only be 85% sure of anything, to leave a 15% possibility that, in fact, the opposite of what we think might be true…(OK, if you can’t manage 15%, even leaving 1% possibility still allows a crack for the Universe/God/Goddess to come in and create miracles). Could it be that the election of Donald Trump has actually been the redemption of the United States? It certainly has revealed a great deal of the underbelly of our political system while eliciting grass roots movements of tolerance and care for the people and the planet. Who else could have inspired California to implement Universal Health Care?

 Byron Katie, in The Work, has shown us with great success how letting go of the ideas and thoughts that cause us pain, by considering whether or not they are really true, and the willingness to consider life without certain thoughts (or with the opposite of those thoughts) can bring us peace and happiness.

  1. Is it true?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

~ Byron Katie – The Work

The main lesson of the Hanged Man is that we “control” by letting go – we “win” by surrendering….the Hanged Man reminds us that the best approach to a problem is not always the most obvious. When we most want to force our will on someone, that is when we should release. When we most want to have our own way, that is when we should sacrifice. When we most want to act, that is when we should wait. The irony is that by making these contradictory moves, we find what we are looking for. ~learntarot.com

 The hanged man from the Sun and Moon Tarot is hanging from the Tree of Life in the tree pose, with hands in prayer position and a sense of peaceful waiting. So while everything is turned upside down, the hanged man is ok with that, and has actually decided to hang out there for a while, willingly, by conscious choice.

 Four weeks after I finally and lovingly completed my previous relationship, I ran into an old acquaintance at Trader Joe’s and my world turned upside almost instantaneously. This man is someone I had been attracted to and never knew he was attracted to me (these things really don’t happen in a vacuum) and our lives had moved forward in separate trajectories. Until we ran into each other that day, and funnily enough, neither of us really had a reason to be there that day, it was random, serendipitous and synchronistic.

 When he saw me outside the market, he stopped in his tracks and made sure I saw him and said hello, and then later, inside the store, he stopped me again to give me his card. So then, of course, I gave him my card, which, if you’ve ever met me out and about & asked me “what I do”, you know the answer comes with an on the spot mini reading, as my business cards have all of the major arcana and a few favorite minor arcana cards printed on the backs.

 The 1st of the 3 cards he picked was the hanged man. I hadn’t realized at the time how prophetic that card was going to be for me along with what it was for him in that moment. Because from that point on, this new relationship has been something completely different than anything I’ve ever done before. For despite its lightening fast re-ignition, it’s physical pace has been interminably slow and who knew that could create such a beautiful emotional unfolding?

Since our first meeting several years ago, to our re-encounter a few months ago, I had been learning over and over again to surrender, to allow, to let go and to be at peace with what is. And it appears, for the first time in my life I am comfortable (or willing and able to withstand the discomfort) in a space of waiting and allowing a relationship to take its course. I feel what it’s like to be that hanged man, seeing the world from a new perspective & patiently (although not always pleasantly patient) waiting as life unfolds in its trajectory, not mine. As I take my rightful place in my own life, with the intention of exquisite self care, life appears to backing me up and sending in more exquisite care for me.

 The gift of self love and the acknowledgement of my capacity to be in a loving relationship were powerful gifts well earned and learned in my last relationship. In putting myself first I am finding that in this new burgeoning relationship I am able to allow him, and me, way more grace and space than I have ever been able to afford anyone in romantic relationship before. It also helps that he is emotionally intelligent, educated, and actually wants me to put myself first. (And no, despite how it sounds he is not perfect ;)

I’m hanging out because it feels like the best of me is being asked to show up, and I am.

As I connect to my own source of loving kindness, support and nourishment, I am no longer starving and asking anyone else to be that for me, and in so doing I’m actually able to open myself to connection with another person. In that vulnerability I am able to have faith in what is unfolding and let it happen in its own timing…I’m not trying to hurry things along, it feels like there is enough time.

 The Hanged Man is unsettling because it symbolizes the action of paradox in our lives…presents to us certain truths, but they are hidden in their opposites…we can “move forward” by standing still. By suspending time, we can have all the time in the world. ~ learntarot.com


You know I’m hungry when I wake up
I’ll be damned if I’m not sleepy when I eat
The only time I feel good, is when I got a
little dirt underneath my feet
I don’t mind eating fast food, as long as I can
eat it real slow
I’m gonna have me some high times
but I might live them way down low…

~The Subdudes, from I’ve got all the time in the world


When I feel the need to fight, I go vulnerable instead, oddly enough this feels better to my heart. I prefer the Bonobo solution to conflict resolution…even inner conflict…I prefer to make love not war. And in being vulnerable, that means I say the scary things, I open myself & share authentically from my heart, even when, especially when, it’s uncomfortable, I speak my truth.


Now I won’t fight you
There’s no need
Such protections
They make us weak
Every compass
Needs a north star
Tame this recklessness
But keep these wild hearts

~ Nahko Bear from “We Are On Time”


I’m committed to conscious relationship and to strength through vulnerability. That feels scary in some ways, and yet I’m always up for going right into & through my fears…And this journey, so far, has totally triggered my abandonment issues; my ego does not want to surrender, but my heart must take back the lead and show me how much more capable I am than I think.

 So I’m trusting that as my stuff comes up and I want to run or push away, I’m still here, following this through to wherever it’s going…Open to receiving all that I can learn about life and love; experiencing what it is to be a self loving person is actually expanding my capacity to be a good partner. They seem like opposites, but they are actually one and the same.

 So, similar to Odin, hanging upside down from Yggdrasil (http://norse-mythology.org/tales/odins-discovery-of-the-runes/) in order to receive the knowledge of the runes, I am content to be here, patiently & with wonder, upside down, learning more about myself, the world and love.

 When my mind, my ego, my personality balk at such a “sacrifice” of quieting the fears of the egoic mind, offering the benefit of the doubt and assuming innocence and goodness, letting go of protection in order to open to love instead…my heart, raised above, reminds me that there is more here than meets the mind’s eye. In this I let my higher self, the spirit heart part of me take over the decision making process, viewing the situation through my heart as it regains its rightful place as emperor. The mind is at its best in its purpose as advisor, in service, to the heart. This is no longer a puppet regime!

 The {Hanged Man} has made the ultimate surrender – to die on the cross of his own travails – yet he shines with the glory of divine understanding. He has sacrificed himself, but he emerges the victor. ~ http://www.learntarot.com/maj12.htm


Dancing is not just getting up painlessly, like a leaf blown on the wind; dancing is when you tear your heart out and rise out of your body to hang suspended between the worlds.



I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I’ll find the things they say just can’t be found
I’ll share this love I find with everyone
We’ll sing and dance to Mother Nature’s songs
This world keeps spinning and there’s no time to waste
Well it all keeps spinning spinning round and round and
Upside down

~ Upside Down ~ Jack Johnson